God at work through reality Checks
BY DEACON TUTTLE
Missed plans? Check. Shifting missional field? Yes. Stressed from “lack of time?” Absolutely. I often thought this over the last year, “We’ll see where this goes,” believing I’d be content even if things didn’t unfold as I imagined. But this year, God has taught me to set my expectations less on uncertain outcomes and more on what He has done and will accomplish.
This fall, three areas in particular revealed the gap between my expectations and reality: village leading, marriage, and peer relationships. In each, God has gently redirected my heart through gratitude and praise—especially in moments of frustration or confusion.
Village Leading – Expectations vs Reality
Expectation:
We would have a village with nonbelievers consistently getting connected and growing in reach.
Reality:
God gave us a committed group of 15 believers seeking Him in community—and brought about two salvations from people who weren’t a part of church at all.
What I Learned:
I’ve often felt inadequate or guilty if a village I lead is mostly believers. But God has shown me that leading a group of upperclassmen often involves pruning and shepherding the flock we’ve been given. In addition to learning to let others go, as we pray for their spiritual growth elsewhere. We still pursue missional invitations and pray towards creating space for new friends to engage the gospel—but even if no non-believers show up, God is pleased by our faithful worship together.
Marriage – Expectations vs Reality
Expectation:
Being married would make a spiritual connection easy, with shared disciplines and habits.
Reality:
God created both me and my wife to connect with Him in different, equally honoring ways. Experiencing Him together will take time and a real effort.
What I learned:
I’ve been convicted recently by our local church’s “Accidental Pharisee” sermon series—realizing I sometimes see my strengths as someone else’s deficiency. That pride can hinder how others connect with God or use their gifts. Scripture reminds us: we are one body with different parts. God has uniquely designed my wife and me, and sometimes, our differences feel isolating instead of encouraging. Yet, this is where I must trust God’s design and my wife, Maggie’s heart. It’s humbling to shift my focus from what I prioritize in faith to what God is teaching those closest to me. I have seen great progress in our mutual desire to center our marriage on Christ and am celebrating where God is taking us, instead of where I want to be, instantaneously.
“For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.” - Romans 12:4-5
Peer Relationships – Expectations vs Reality
Expectation:
Leading a village and being newly married won’t affect my hangout times—it’ll just shift the schedule.
Reality:
Spending time with core brothers takes effort, and it doesn’t look the same as before. But cherishing the time you do have is key. It’s about quality, not frequency.
Reflection:
God has recently put it on my heart to be more intentional with those closest to me. Even though I’m now on the collegiate side of church life, that doesn’t mean I should neglect older friendships. I’ve made excuses like “They’re too busy,” but during huddle time, God prompted us to list the people holding us up, walking with us, and those we support. Of the five names I wrote for my peers, God provided separate, unplanned opportunities to spend time with each, the very next week or over this summer as a rhythm. Since then, I’ve been more willing to give up spare time and resist passivity, finding refreshment in quality time with brothers. I rejoice in how God shifted my perspective from freedom of time to intentionality in time.
My Response to the Expectations
My advice to myself and to those reading in terms of combating unhealthy expectations is to count the ways that God has provided, spoken, and comforted—and be glad! Thank Him for His sovereignty and His good character. Don’t be dissatisfied or upset—be grateful for all that He has accomplished.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 commands us to “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”. So, Resonate, rejoice, pray continuously, and always give thanks; our God is beyond worthy, do you believe that?
